I love that you are such a strong fighter to have survived being so sick when you were just a newborn baby. Did you know that even half the grownups that get sick like you don't get better? But you were just a tiny baby and you not only got well, but now you are such a grown up two year old and are doing amazing!
I love your sweet sweet smile! It shows me your gentle loving little heart. And a bit of a strong spirit too! I bet you're going to be a snuggler! At least, if you don't want your mama to drive you crazy by always trying to scoop you up I sure hope you learn to like it. I've got a lot of missed hugs and cuddles to make up for!
I was holding your little brother tonight (I know you've seen the pictures, but boy are you in for a treat when you truly realize you've got an awesome little brother just 7 weeks younger than you!), and I got a little teary-eyed wishing I could be holding you too. I was rocking him when he woke up feeling scared, and I prayed for you that your foster mama would be able to hold you and rock you the same way when you get scared. She does rock you, doesn't she?
You also have the best big sister in the whole world. Do you know that at least once a day she reminds me that she wants YOU for her birthday present!? That's right, her birthday is in a month, right when we are expecting to be able to bring you home, and she couldn't be more excited! Every time she draws a picture or picks a flower or sees something she likes, she always asks if she can send it to you.
Whenever I go out anywhere with the family, I always imagine what it will be like one day soon when you are with us. Every trip to the park, or to our favorite restaurant, or to visit a friend, I am always thinking of you. Wondering if you will like the monkeys or the zebras best at the zoo. If you will be a crazy daredevil like your brother on the playground, or if you will be happy to sit for hours playing in the sand box like your sister. Wondering if you will like my enchiladas or only want Chinese food (it's ok if you only want Chinese, Miriam and Elijah could happily live off of only that too). Wondering....wondering so many things and sometimes being so heartbroken I don't know the answers and other times being so EXCITED to find them out.
Only about one more month to go my sweet little boy. Then you will finally be home. The home God chose from before the beginning of time for you to have. Do you still have the stuffed dog we sent you in the first care package? I bought him the day we knew you were meant to be a part of our family. We named him Hope, and sent him to you as soon as we could so that whenever you held him he would remind you of the hope you have to be our son. Even though you aren't physically with us now, you are already our son. I love you with all that fierce, deep, tender, longing mama love.
You are my little boy, and you always will be. Sleep well tonight my precious one. Mama is praying over you and counting down the days. Soon little one. Not soon enough, but soon.
All my love,
Mama
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