I think I wrote on a facebook post that I can hardly believe so much can have changed in such a short period of time. This whole story of our adoption is really one of the most unique experiences in my life. I already wrote much of this first part of the story in an email that was sent to I'm sure anyone who is reading this blog, but I promised Jeff I'd write this all down somewhere and this seems to be the best place. So bear with me if this is old news to you all.
It started a few weeks ago when I found myself in many different converstaions all centered around the theme of adoption. Friends adopting, people sharing updates about orphans, people I barely know talking about their adoption journeys. It put a bug in my mind to think about adoption, and at the same time this thought came into my head that maybe our family was meant to have one more son. I dismissed it all as overworked imagination, but at the same time I thought it couldn't hurt to do some basic research into adoption. As I went online and started doing some research, I realized that my major issue was that I didn't want to adopt a child. I was very content with my family and had no interest in entering into all the chaos and uncertainty of adoption.
So on a Wednesday during my quiet time, I prayed and told the Lord that if he wanted me to even consider adopting a child at some point in the future, He needed to change my heart to want to adopt, and to give me a greater love for orphans than what I currently had. I finished my quiet time and was convinced that I could put the adoption question behind me, for a long time at least, and probably forever. Well, that night at my Bible study group, one of the women gave me a book written by a woman who works with orphans in Mexico, explaining she had meant to bring it months ago to give to someone, but had just remembered it that afternoon and thought she would bring it. I took the hint and read the book the next morning.
Over the course of reading the book, the first thing that happened was a realization that a lack of faith in my heart was keeping me from being open to adoption. I wanted more control of my life than adopting an orphan would give me. I wanted guarantees and predictable outcomes, and I wasn't willing to step that far out of my comfort zone. But I was reminded that our lives are meant to be lived by faith, and that means stepping forward not knowing where God is taking you, but knowing that anywhere He is leading is the place I want to be. I felt a peace and assurance that if there was ever an open the door for us to adopt, that it would be a good blessing and I could be excited to join in on the journey.
Then just as I was feeling encouraged that my heart was more opened to the idea of adoption at some point in my future, I felt Him speaking to my heart and telling me, "Do you remember the picture of the little boy you saw while looking up some adoption information? That little boy is your son." I laughed like Sarah laughed when she heard that she was supposedly going to have a baby. It made no sense, it wasn't how this whole adoption thing worked, and I didn't even remember a thing about that boy except a vague memory of his picture. But I got my computer and tried to remember where I had found his picture. I found the website, pulled up his picture, and to my utter amazement, the moment I looked at his picture my first thought was, "That is my son!" I can only describe it as there being birthed in my heart to a deep love and longing for this little boy who I knew nothing at all about except a picture and a few sentences of description.
Well, then that evening I had the "exciting" experience of getting to share all of this with Jeff. :) I first told him about my change of heart about the idea of adoption in general. He wasn't very excited to hear that since he wasn't very interested in adoption, but he was at least willing to consider it. I told him that sometime later I had a little bit more to share with him, but it was probably best for him to just process what I had already told him. He insisted that I tell him all of it right then. I asked if he was sure, and he said he was (later he acknowledged he lied, and he should have waited until later). So I pulled up the picture of TX and said, "I think maybe this is the little boy we are going to adopt. I'd never seen Jeff start to hyper-ventilate before, but he did then. :) I think the first thing he said was, "I'm going to be sick". Not the most auspicious start to the process.
But after a couple of days of thinking and praying about it, we had an evening where I took some more time to explain my feelings and the whole process. Part way through he said, "I think either you are having a psychotic episode, or Jesus is doing something really amazing in our lives. I think I hope it is the latter, and if it is, He has never led us somewhere that didn't turn out to be a wonderful blessing. So if this is from Him, then let's do it." Have I mentioned enough times how much I love and respect my husband?
From that point on, we began to consider what it might mean to adopt this little boy. We requested a copy of his files, had his medical records reviewed by a couple doctors. He was considered on his files to have significant special needs, but both doctors agreed that he seems to be totally healthy and normal. So 4 days after we began the discussion, we filled out all of the preliminary paperwork to start the adoption process!
Unfortunately at this time I can't post any specific information or pictures about our little guy. His Chinese name is TX, and he is currently 18 months old and living in an orphanage here in East Asia. He is walking and learning to talk. In fact, the first thing the orphanage workers have taught him to say is "Baba (Asian for Daddy) and Mama". He is ready to have a family!
The adoption agency has told us that based on the information we have submitted, there should be no problem with completing our adoption, and we can expect it to take between 9-12 months. Our first step of the process is to gather the enormous number of documents, forms, and reports that all must be submitted to the government in order to adopt our boy. The whole process of gathering documents takes between 3-6 months. Then for another 4-6 months the government goes through their process of verifying and approving our paperwork and issuing their adoption approval letter.
Even sitting here writing this, the reality has not fully set in that we are no longer a family of 4, but we have a little boy who will Lord-willing be coming home to our family in the next year!! This was nowhere in our plans for our future, but it is exactly the plan of our gracious Father. We are humbled and grateful that our hearts would be opened to love and care for this little boy. We'll keep you updated on how the process is going over the next few months. I can't wait for the day when I can post pictures!
