Orphanage Trip

Jeff says he will happily give up the roll of family blogger, but I think maybe I should just let him take over!  We apologize for not updating before now, but somehow the days are incredibly full and I fall in bed exhausted every night.

Yesterday was the official adoption day, as well as Jeff's birthday!  Jeff and I took Isaac back to the office we received him at the day before to turn in our official documents saying that YES, we want Isaac to be our son, and were given the adoption certificate that makes him legally ours.  Then we went and dropped off some papers at the notary's office and were home by lunch.  It was nice to get some time with just Isaac since we left the other three at the hotel with ayi.  After nap we headed to the swimming pool for what we think was Isaac's first time swimming.  The "pool" was actually the whirlpool, but it is very large for a whirlpool and the whole pool is only about a foot and a half deep.  All four kids had great fun splashing and playing together.

For dinner, we went out with two of the other families from our travel group and enjoyed getting to know some of them better.  Isaac seemed to slowly continue to relax as the day went on.  On the way to dinner, he actually wrapped his arms and legs around me as I held him instead of just hanging there limply.  We've seen him be very generous and helpful, sharing his food and helping to pick things up or find something for one of his siblings.  We've also seen him fight hard against not getting his way and he can be pretty dismissive and impatient with anyone he doesn't want to interact with at the moment.  I'd say so far the biggest part of his heart I'm praying for is his ability to have empathy and grace for others.  It's totally understandable why he doesn't respond that way right now, but I can see a kind and loving heart inside my boy, and I'm excited to see it come out more and more in his interactions with others.

Today we took a LONG trip to Isaac and David's hometown to register for Isaac's passport and also visit the orphanage and foster family that cared for both Isaac & David.  Up until today, Isaac has seemed to be under the impression that we are a fairly fun group of people that he has enjoyed spending time with, but he will be soon returning to his "real" family.  In light of that, we were expecting him to have a really hard time when we went back to his orphanage and saw his foster family.  On the way there, we pulled out a photo album the orphanage officer had given us on Monday and as we looked at the pictures we talked about how we were going to go to the orphanage so Isaac could introduce us to all his friends and caretakers, and that afterwards we would say goodbye and he would come with us back to the hotel.  He didn't really say much but didn't seem upset by it particularly.

At the orphanage, we went to a small room with about a half-dozen kids playing there and met the nanny who had cared for both David and Isaac when they were infants.  It was a little strange that all day long everyone claimed that David hadn't really been very sick at all as a baby, even though all the paperwork we received said he had been very ill.  I didn't get the impression they were trying to cover it over, but it makes me wonder how he got into the special needs program at all in that case.

About a half hour after we arrived, the foster mother and grandmother arrived.  They were VERY excited to see David especially since they hadn't seen him in over 8 months.  David, however, was not very excited to see them and refused to allow them to hold him or really interact with him at all.  I felt really sorry for them about that.  Isaac seemed more enthusiastic about his foster mom than grandmother, and would let his mom hold him and play with him.  But after a short time of interacting with them, he would come back to one of us and ask to be held.  When it was time to leave, Isaac refused to let them hold him and gave them a half-hearted wave goodbye as he demanded that we all hurry up and get in the van to leave.  I was really happy that once David was sure this was "goodbye" and not that we were leaving him there, he gave mom and grandma big hugs and a warm farewell.

We didn't get home until around 4:30 (about a 2 hour drive each way and we left at 8am) and while Miriam and Isaac slept most of the way, Elijah and David bounced around like little rabbits and about drove Jeff and I crazy.  Jeff went out and brought dinner home and it was a relatively peaceful chaos until bedtime :)

Tomorrow is a free day for us, so we are thinking about hitting up the local zoo if we think we can brave the humid heat.  It will be nice to have a whole morning together without having to spend it traveling or in offices.  I am so DONE trying to do life with 4 small kids in a hotel.  I can not wait to get back to our home!

Please continue to pray for our family as we are just beginning the process of getting to know each other and becoming a family.  Jeff and I are both burdened for Isaac's heart to continue to soften and as he grows to experience more love and security that he would grow in his ability to love and care for others, especially his family.  We are also very aware of our total inability to meet all the needs of these four precious and diverse little kiddos, and we know we need to continue to grow in our faith that God knew our limitations and He has a plan for all of this that isn't dependent on our abilities.  It's easy to say and REALLY hard to fully embrace.

Ok, now that most of you have probably skipped over all my ramblings, here is the part you have scrolled down to find, the pictures!

Jeff getting his best birthday present ever!!

Mama enjoying some smiles!

Mmmm, jiaozi!!

This is the nanny that cared for the boys when they were small

Isaac and some of his friends.  Really, I'm pretty sure he likes them even if he is trying to smother one of them.

Miriam loving on a little girl still waiting for a family of her own

Isaac with his foster mom

Talking with foster mom and grandmother

I have no idea, but I love it!

Gotcha Day

This is Jeff, blogging for the first time ever.  Its my turn to give some impressions of our first interactions with Isaac.  This morning we took all the kids over to get Isaac and at first thought this is going to go really badly.  The office was super crowded and then 10 Germans came into the office to get a passport for a wedding they were a part of her.   Random.  Our other three happily played with toys for a minute, then got anxious.  Especially Elijah was angry that he couldn't hear the sound on the phone we gave him.  He sat outside and played with it where he could hear and that's where he stayed for most of our time there.

Then Rebecca saw the car pull up and we tried to get the kids all ready.  At first Isaac wanted nothing to do with us.  He just wandered around the office looking for someone he knew.  Miriam and David did a great job tagging along and talking to him.  Even though there were a few tears coming out of his eyes, comforting him didn't seem to be what he really needed.  We gave him a candy bar and a sucker then Mama and the kids looked at a book of his family pictures together.  Then I started playing a jump around game and he really cheered up.  While we were signing the papers it was getting bad for a bit.  We were done and Elijah wanted to come over and talk to Isaac and tell him about the 'xiyangyang' rides that he loves so much.  Isaac pushed him away and then went to go hug David.  It was a very scary moment.  Elijah was sad for a bit and then seemed to get better as we gave him lots of individual attention.  On the bus ride home Elijah sat down next to Isaac and showed him how to play with the iPhone.  That made Isaac like him more.

We gave him a sippy cup with juice but he said he wanted green tea instead.  On the way home I stopped to get McDonald's and green tea to bring to the hotel.  Later we found out that in his province, people ask for tea when they want water.   He was just thirsty and didn't know how to use a sippy cup!  Isaac grabbed the corn and carried it around to the next hour until nap.  They all played and ate happily.   Isaac did a great job sharing his tea and corn with the other kids.  We took the kids out in the hallway and everybody ran up and down the hallway.


When the other kids went off to bed Isaac sat in my lap and we talked for ten or fifteen minutes. I realized he knows the song 'Qing Qing Ting' (a chinese worship song) that we always sing before bed and he sang along.   It was a definite bonding moment to know the same song.  

After nap, they all got up and watched an episode of the Little Einsteins together.  It was fun watching them have a great time going 'pat pat pat' together and Isaac really got into it.   David was much more into it than he usually is because he was showing Isaac what to do.  Isaac's first word in 'English' is now 'Fortissimo!'  

We went and signed some more papers and took them to a play room in the hotel and they had a great time throwing balls around.  We went to the hotel Italian restaurant for dinner and Isaac had pizza for the first time.  If I remember right, we did that with David on his Gotcha day too.  After dinner we came back to the room and tried to settle them down for bed.  Isaac got on his shoes and was ready to go home now.  
It has definitely not crossed his mind that we are his new family.  He calls us Abba and Mama, and is  having fun with these people for now, but I don't think he understands that he isn't going back where he came from.  It is going to be a really hard moment when he gets that.


We have just realized how many more relationships there are between four kids than among three.  E-D, E-I, E-M, D-I, D-M, M-I.   This is a lot to think about and handle well and pretty overwhelming.   Especially since David and Isaac are already obviously great buddies.  David has had a super happy day with Isaac, but Elijah and David were just starting to be buddies.   Will this affect their relationship?  Obviously it will, but it is all really complicated.  The other complicated thing about this is that Isaac is already such a little person with a past.  He is talking a lot (much more than David was) and so it is more obvious that he has a past that is so unknown to us.   For example he picked up the phone and told our helper the phone number to call his 'sister', and asked Rebecca when he could go home.  We begin to wonder if speaking his language isn't a mixed blessing.


At any rate, things have really been going so well, so much better than we could have hoped for.  Please keep thinking about us as we deal with all the complicated emotions and relationships and as we enjoy getting to know our new son.  

Today is the Day!!

We arrived yesterday here in Zhengzhou after a fairly uneventful 5 1/2 hour train ride with the family.  The first thing Miriam said after stepping into the hotel lobby was, "where is the pool???"

About two minutes after we arrived, our dear friends here to adopt their son also arrived!  We were able to get rooms pretty much next to each other, and as an even greater blessing another dear friend Jill is here for a couple of days to help Matt and Laura with their 4 1/2 month old baby.  Sweet reunion!

We did indeed hit the pool and then hopped into a taxi to a nearby mall for some dinner.  We were just congratulating ourselves on what a great idea it was to take the taxi when we realized the stroller we had borrowed from our friends was still in the trunk of the already-departed taxi. :(  Still holding out a small hope that we will get a call from the taxi company that it has been reported, but until then we bought a cheap wal-mart one as a replacement for them to use while here in Zhengzhou.

It's almost time for the kids to get up, and then we'll head down to our breakfast buffet and meet up with the other families at 9:30am to head to the civil affairs office to get Isaac!  Will hopefully have photos of ALL the Staege family together on the next post!