Yesterday marked one week home with David. Actually, it seems hard to believe that it has only been one week. It is starting to just feel normal to have him with us, and that makes it feel like he's been here for a long time.
When we arrived home last Thursday, it was a rough homecoming. David was great through the travel, but got really tired and sleepy in the taxi on the way home from the airport. By the time we got to our neighborhood and stopped by to pick up the two other kids, I think he was overly tired. And Elijah was happy to see us, but I think overwhelmed by us being home and a new person in his house. He cried the whole walk back to our place.
When we walked in the door, our dog Sidney enthusiastically greeted us, and David started screaming and threw himself on the floor. He likes dogs from a distance, but if she so much as looked at him he would start shrieking in terror. We tried to put the kids down for overdue naps, and Miriam and Elijah went down fine, but David started sobbing and screaming when we tried to lay him down. I held him on my lap on our bed for about 20 minutes while he cried until he feel asleep. We then sent the dog to a neighbor's house for a few days, figuring we didn't need that added trauma right away.
After naps everyone was more stable and we had a fun afternoon and evening. David has been quick to get comfortable enough in our home to explore and I think start to feel some ownership and sense of home here. He is definitely much more relaxed and "himself" when he is home. He is continuing to warm up to his siblings more every day, and they are starting to get used to him as well. The transition has definitely been the hardest on Elijah. He has been more cranky and more prone to bouts of disobedience and frustration than usual. The poor guy has also had diarrhea since we came home, though the medicine we took him to the doctor for does seem to help. Miriam has done really well and has been a sweet big sister.
Here are some of the highlights from our first week:
Places we have gone:
1. Church! David enjoyed the music and was happy and content until he saw the bread at communion. He wasn't happy he couldn't have any, and Jeff took him down to the nursery for a distraction. Jeff stayed and David and Elijah happily played together. Jeff even took all 3 to lunch by himself afterwards since I was speaking at a women's brunch and they did great!
2. An indoor kid's playplace. They had a ball pit, trampoline, play kitchen, mini merry-go-round, etc. At first David just wanted to be held and watch, but after a while he was right there in the thick of it with the others climbing and running around. Miriam was sweet helping him figure out how to climb through the play structure.
3. A kid's climbing wall/ropes course at a local mall to celebrate a friend's birthday. Miriam and Elijah got harnessed up and did a lot of climbing. Elijah insisted on wearing a pink climbing helmet as that is his current favorite color. :) David was again content to watch for a while, but eventually wanted his turn trying to go through the ropes course. They all had a blast!
4. Doctors office visit mostly because Elijah kept having diarrhea, but also to get a general physical for David. Everything looks great and everything they checked came out normal!
Things I am learning about David:
1. He is a neat freak. He doesn't like his hands dirty and is meticulous in keeping his fingers wiped while eating and the table free of any crumbs. He LOVES to help tidy up and put things away. Jeff is in heaven :)
2. He is super smiley and playful. He almost always has a smile on his face, and loves to make silly faces at you to get you to laugh. He likes to be held and a little rough housing/tickling, but not nearly as much as Elijah does.
3. He is not nearly so daring as his little brother. He doesn't jump off of things move so quickly. I think maybe part personality and part lack of muscle mass to do it all. He is a full 6 centimeters shorter than Elijah and ways much less than he does. Elijah is just way more solid than he is. But, he did finally make it onto the growth chart at his physical! He is now up to the 3rd precentile for height and weight!
4. Whenever he gets upset at all, he immediately throws himself backward onto the floor and starts either wailing or moaning, depending on the severity of his distress. He did it a lot the first few days, but we started sitting near him and playing with something without paying direct attention to him. The first few times he'd stay upset for a little while, but now he rarely actually falls to the floor, and if he does it doesn't usually last longer than a minute. I think he's learned that it doesn't get him what he wants and isn't nearly as fun as just moving on and doing something else.
5. He is potty-trained, but has recently started telling us every 5 minutes that he has to go. I'm guessing it's a ploy to control our attention. We've learned to distinguish a little between when he says he has to go but it doesn't seem truly urgent and when he acts more like it's a real need. But still an area to try and figure out more of what to do.
6. He eats pretty much anything except broccoli and spinach. He, however, is the slowest eater I have ever seen. I thought Miriam was slow, but nope, she is practically a speed eater in comparison. I think it is because he has to pause so often to clean his hands and the table. And he is never really "done". If I kept giving him food, he would just keep eating it.
7. He continues to be a great sleeper. The first couple nights home he woke up a couple of times crying and wanting to be held for a minute, but since then he hasn't woken up at night. Which is much more than I can say for my other two kiddos who pretty much always wake up every night. But fortunately none of them ever wake up each other. David does have a tendency to wake up earlier than the other 2, but has done an ok job of being willing to stay in bed until at least reasonably close to the 7:30 wake up time the other kids have.
8. David is loud. He doesn't really talk, he yells. This is not an endearing trait to me. With three kids now, I often get overwhelmed at the volume of my house as all three kids are usually wanting to tell me something at the same time. David sounds like he is from Brooklyn when he talks to me because he calls me "MA!!!" (think stereotypical New York accent to that and you've got him nailed). One of the toughest things for me this week has been trying to not be overwhelmed by the chaos going on around me. It is really hard to channel them all into anything resembling an organized activity, and the morning time seems to be especially chaotic.
9. David is extremely generous for a 2 year old. He loves to find things to give to the other kids, and if one of them asks him for something he has, he is almost always willing to hand it over with a smile. I was really surprised by this, as I assumed that life in an orphanage would not be a good environment for learning to share. But he genuinely seems to enjoy watching the other kids smile when he can find something to give them.
10. He loves baths, but only if there are no bubbles. And preferrably no siblings either.
11. He is fascinated by things he can either stack or sort, and is impressively talented at doing both.
12. His favorite activity is running around naked with his siblings. Seriously, why is it that small children are 10 times happier when they are naked? Almost all of our pictures of the 3 kids together all laughing and playing are naked pictures. They have a game they now play every night, where they go into a room, close the door, and then throw it open and run out screaming "chu lai! (come out)". They do this over and over again, naked of course. I tried to convince Miriam they could play it clothed as well, but she said, "Mama, if we had clothes on it would take all the joy right out of it. How could we be crazy with pants on?!" So there you have it.
13. We adopted the sweetest and most amazing little boy in all of China. Every one who meets him comments on how happy and content he seems. The other day I was holding him and he threw his arms around my neck, gave me a big hug, and then pressed his face into my cheek. Being Elijah's mom, my immediate thought was "he's going to bite me!" and I tried to jerk my face away. But he was actually giving me my first kiss. :) I love that precious little boy of mine!
Sorry I only have pictures from the first couple of days since the rest are still on the camera. Hopefully some more will be coming soon!
One of my favorite pictures!
Miriam trying for a kiss when she is first meeting David. He's not so enthused.
Chilling together watching a video after nap the first day.
We woke up our first morning home to a snow day!
Decorating the Christmas tree
Yep, Miriam is decorating in her ballet outfit, since she is now a real ballet dancer
Boys having fun playing together
