Saturday, July 31, 2010

Top 10 Reasons Not To Get Deported

10. No matter how sympathetically the customs agent looks at you, you are never emotionally prepared to hear "your visa is expired so you must leave the country now" after just arriving from a 10-hour overnight flight and expecting to be home in a half hour.

9. You might lack adequate food supplies to keep your family fed when you are expecting to arrive back at your home by 3pm and instead are being detained in the airport and flying to a new country until 1am. You might be forced to buy a small box of cookies for an exorbitant price to prevent a total toddler meltdown and fork over $20 for a couple whoppers for "dinner" at around midnight.

8. It costs a lot of money to buy one-way tickets to Hong Kong for your whole family.

7. It's embarrassing to be escorted onto said flight to Hong Kong by the police.

6. Your family doesn't get over jetlag more quickly when they don't get to bed until nearly 2am.

5. When you wake up the next morning at the hotel and go to the desk to ask about staying an extra night, they might tell you all the rooms but one are already booked, and that room will cost $500 per night. That might be the emotional straw that breaks the camels back for your husband and he might spend half the day in a spiral of depression and gloom as a result.

4. After spending all morning waiting in line to apply for a new visa, you will then be forced to spend all afternoon wandering the streets of Hong Kong looking for a playground to relieve all the pent-up energy and stress that your 2 year old has built up over the course of the trip.

3. Your daughter might wake up covered in small red bumps that you will later discover are probably bedbug bites.

2. It will cost you nearly as much money to buy return tickets home as it did to get you to Hong Kong in the first place. Plus expensive hotels and food. Plus new visas. Plus the $200 your husband might accidentally leave sitting in the ATM.

1. When you finally arrive back home, you realize you now have 5 days to pack up your home before you are moving. :)

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