Gotcha Day

This is Jeff, blogging for the first time ever.  Its my turn to give some impressions of our first interactions with Isaac.  This morning we took all the kids over to get Isaac and at first thought this is going to go really badly.  The office was super crowded and then 10 Germans came into the office to get a passport for a wedding they were a part of her.   Random.  Our other three happily played with toys for a minute, then got anxious.  Especially Elijah was angry that he couldn't hear the sound on the phone we gave him.  He sat outside and played with it where he could hear and that's where he stayed for most of our time there.

Then Rebecca saw the car pull up and we tried to get the kids all ready.  At first Isaac wanted nothing to do with us.  He just wandered around the office looking for someone he knew.  Miriam and David did a great job tagging along and talking to him.  Even though there were a few tears coming out of his eyes, comforting him didn't seem to be what he really needed.  We gave him a candy bar and a sucker then Mama and the kids looked at a book of his family pictures together.  Then I started playing a jump around game and he really cheered up.  While we were signing the papers it was getting bad for a bit.  We were done and Elijah wanted to come over and talk to Isaac and tell him about the 'xiyangyang' rides that he loves so much.  Isaac pushed him away and then went to go hug David.  It was a very scary moment.  Elijah was sad for a bit and then seemed to get better as we gave him lots of individual attention.  On the bus ride home Elijah sat down next to Isaac and showed him how to play with the iPhone.  That made Isaac like him more.

We gave him a sippy cup with juice but he said he wanted green tea instead.  On the way home I stopped to get McDonald's and green tea to bring to the hotel.  Later we found out that in his province, people ask for tea when they want water.   He was just thirsty and didn't know how to use a sippy cup!  Isaac grabbed the corn and carried it around to the next hour until nap.  They all played and ate happily.   Isaac did a great job sharing his tea and corn with the other kids.  We took the kids out in the hallway and everybody ran up and down the hallway.


When the other kids went off to bed Isaac sat in my lap and we talked for ten or fifteen minutes. I realized he knows the song 'Qing Qing Ting' (a chinese worship song) that we always sing before bed and he sang along.   It was a definite bonding moment to know the same song.  

After nap, they all got up and watched an episode of the Little Einsteins together.  It was fun watching them have a great time going 'pat pat pat' together and Isaac really got into it.   David was much more into it than he usually is because he was showing Isaac what to do.  Isaac's first word in 'English' is now 'Fortissimo!'  

We went and signed some more papers and took them to a play room in the hotel and they had a great time throwing balls around.  We went to the hotel Italian restaurant for dinner and Isaac had pizza for the first time.  If I remember right, we did that with David on his Gotcha day too.  After dinner we came back to the room and tried to settle them down for bed.  Isaac got on his shoes and was ready to go home now.  
It has definitely not crossed his mind that we are his new family.  He calls us Abba and Mama, and is  having fun with these people for now, but I don't think he understands that he isn't going back where he came from.  It is going to be a really hard moment when he gets that.


We have just realized how many more relationships there are between four kids than among three.  E-D, E-I, E-M, D-I, D-M, M-I.   This is a lot to think about and handle well and pretty overwhelming.   Especially since David and Isaac are already obviously great buddies.  David has had a super happy day with Isaac, but Elijah and David were just starting to be buddies.   Will this affect their relationship?  Obviously it will, but it is all really complicated.  The other complicated thing about this is that Isaac is already such a little person with a past.  He is talking a lot (much more than David was) and so it is more obvious that he has a past that is so unknown to us.   For example he picked up the phone and told our helper the phone number to call his 'sister', and asked Rebecca when he could go home.  We begin to wonder if speaking his language isn't a mixed blessing.


At any rate, things have really been going so well, so much better than we could have hoped for.  Please keep thinking about us as we deal with all the complicated emotions and relationships and as we enjoy getting to know our new son.  

Today is the Day!!

We arrived yesterday here in Zhengzhou after a fairly uneventful 5 1/2 hour train ride with the family.  The first thing Miriam said after stepping into the hotel lobby was, "where is the pool???"

About two minutes after we arrived, our dear friends here to adopt their son also arrived!  We were able to get rooms pretty much next to each other, and as an even greater blessing another dear friend Jill is here for a couple of days to help Matt and Laura with their 4 1/2 month old baby.  Sweet reunion!

We did indeed hit the pool and then hopped into a taxi to a nearby mall for some dinner.  We were just congratulating ourselves on what a great idea it was to take the taxi when we realized the stroller we had borrowed from our friends was still in the trunk of the already-departed taxi. :(  Still holding out a small hope that we will get a call from the taxi company that it has been reported, but until then we bought a cheap wal-mart one as a replacement for them to use while here in Zhengzhou.

It's almost time for the kids to get up, and then we'll head down to our breakfast buffet and meet up with the other families at 9:30am to head to the civil affairs office to get Isaac!  Will hopefully have photos of ALL the Staege family together on the next post!

Five days from now...

...we will be at our hotel in Zhengzhou spending our last night as a family of five!!  We received our letter from the Chinese government granting us permission to travel to our son's province to complete our adoption, and we leave on Sunday!!  We are SO thankful that we were able to get the travel arrangements made so quickly.  One of the major reasons why I am so thankful is that we have some dear friends who will be traveling at the same time, staying at our same hotel as they adopt their precious son!  Six years ago these friends stayed at our house awaiting the birth of their first child, well before we were even thinking of starting our own family.  Now six years later, as of next Monday there will be NINE children between our two families!  What a sweet privilege it will be to welcome our sons into our families together!

We can't wait to share more stories of our time as we take our whole family on our trip to get Isaac!  We arrive on Sunday, and then Monday morning we get Isaac!  Tuesday is the day the adoption is finalized, which also happens to be Jeff's birthday.  On Wednesday we will travel to the city Isaac has been living in to apply for his passport and visit the orphanage that he and David grew up in.  We are also anticipating the opportunity to meet the foster family that Isaac and David had lived with for over 2 years!

Ok, I'm off to panic over more details that I'm just sure I'm going to miss!

Cinderella

A couple of weekends ago, I had the great privilege of escorting my little princess to watch the Ukrainian Youth Ballet perform the ballet version of Cinderella.  It combined the two greatest loves of Miriam's life - princesses and ballet.  We almost didn't get to go through a ticket mix-up, but through the incredible thoughtfulness of a friend, we were able to make it work.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, but it was a magical night not soon to be forgotten!

All dressed up in our princess dress and ready to go to dinner and a ballet!

Mama and her princess

Relaxing on the subway and thoroughly enjoying all the happy attention from everyone around her

Pure joy

Showing off her own ballet skills!

Patches & Eyewear

Ok, so there have been a lot of posts lately revolving around glasses.  That's because a lot of our life has been revolving around that lately.  First Miriam got her glasses, then her eye patch (or eye sticker as we refer to it around here), and finally Elijah got his glasses.

I have been nothing but blessed and amazed by how well they have both done.  Elijah actually just let us put his glasses on and has never once complained.  Every once in a while he will pull them off if he is either very angry or doing something like jumping repeatedly in a ball pit that isn't so easy with glasses on.  But mostly it has been such an easy process!  No small miracle for a 2 1/2 year old boy!

Miriam has also done a great job with her eye patch.  She wears it most of the day, usually taking it off for 1-2 hours each day.  Her brain doesn't know how to use her left eye well, so even though she should have near normal vision while wearing glasses, she actually has very poor vision even with the glasses.  So she wears the patch to force her brain to re-learn how to see from that eye.  We haven't done any official doctor follow-up yet, but I'm pretty sure I know her eye is making improvements.  She will likely wear the patch for 6-12 months since the learning process is a slow one, but she's a brave little princess who doesn't mind wearing her eye sticker most of the time.

Here are some pictures of my beautiful kids in their fashion eye wear!

Miriam's first eye patch - in honor of the 4th of July!

Miriam with her sweet friend Abby who came to an "Eye Patch Tea Party" to help encourage Miriam as she began wearing her eye patches.  They decorated their own eye patch and Abby wore her's along with Miriam.  So blessed she has such great friends!

Check out the glass slipper eye patch!  Yes, you can now all be amazed at my skills of eye patch decoration! :)

I think Elijah has the personality to fit the glasses!

My handsome boy!

 Of course David couldn't be left out of the glasses wearing.  For the first few days after Elijah got his glasses, David wore this nearly everywhere.  And always upside down.

Life with Elijah

Yep, this picture pretty much sums up what it is like to live with my full-on little man!  He does everything 120%, both the good and the ugly.  There is literally never a dull moment when he is around, and he brings out much laughter and many heart-attacks.  Just today we were at a pool celebrating both America's and David's birthday, when for the 27th time I lost track of Elijah.  I yelled across the pool to Jeff, "Do you know where Elijah is?".  When my friend laughed at my slightly panicked expression, I informed her that I end up asking that question approximately every 20 minutes all day long.  And that boy is FAST!  Seriously, nobody should be allowed to move that quickly who has such poor impulse control.

Here are two recent stories that highlight the joy it is to have a little boy like Elijah in our home.  The first happened just a couple of days ago when Elijah decided to go poo on our dining area floor instead of the potty (both boys spend most of their time at home with naked bottoms since they use the toilet much more consistently that way).  I walked into the room to see a large and stinky deposit on the floor and the bottom half of Elijah covered in mess.  I quickly scooped him up and set him on the bathroom floor when the doorbell rang.  It was three men who had arrived to check our gas meter.  All three of my kids were completely naked and the pile of poo was not more than 2 feet from them, so all I could think to do was grab a towel, throw it over the pile, and pretend there was nothing unusual happening.  While I was on the phone with Jeff asking where our gas card was located, Elijah decided to run back into the room to say hello to everyone (he can't ever pass up a chance to be mr. social) and the poor gas meter man who was in the house had to try and dodge a very unpleasant attempt at a hug.

The second fun adventure with Elijah was on stage at church for David's dedication.  We made the last-minute and fool-hardy decision to take our whole family up front for the dedication time during those nostalgic and naive moments where we thought about how sweet it would be to have the whole family together.  So Jeff is holding David and I am holding Elijah.  In less than 10 seconds he is squirming and asking to stand by himself.  I whisper urgently, "If I put you down, do you promise to stay right next to mama?"  "Yes", he replies, and like a complete moron I decide to believe him.  Of course in no time flat he has started to wander across the back of the stage and I am trying to subtly (in front of 400 people) move slowly after him.  As soon as he realizes he's being followed, he breaks into a full-out sprint across and off the stage (did I mention he's fast?).  So I have to give up all pretense of calmness and go sprinting after him lest he actually makes it out of the sanctuary.

Once he is retrieved, I haul him back on stage and vow to not put him down for anything.  In another moment of mama brain lapse, I put on a bright smile and whisper to him as he screeches and squirms, "Do you want to tickle mama?"  Instead of tickling me, he begins to swat vigorously at my face and I hear gasps of surprised amusement from both the congregation and the pastor.  At this point I am desperately wishing I had brought a roll of duct tape to tie him up because I could get away with it and no one would think badly of me for doing it.  But instead I find the pacifier and he magically decides to snuggle down happily on my shoulder.  That's my boy.  Slapping one minute and snuggling the next.  As we climb down off the stage, I smile at Jeff and say, "Yep, we are officially 'that family'".  You know, the one that makes everyone else feel better about their kids, because no matter what else they did that day, at least they didn't run away and then slap their mom in front of 400 people.  You can view a part of the service on youtube courtesy of the other family having their son dedicated at the same time at http://youtu.be/ZBRKLfwEIRY   Yep, it includes both the escape and the slap.

I love that kid with all my heart!

Glasses & Sound of Music

This past week, Miriam got her long-awaited glasses!  When we went back for the follow-up visit with the opthamologist, we discovered that Miriam is very far-sighted in her left eye (+6.0), and because that eye is so bad it has a tendency to cross.  Even more, because she has not really been able to see out of that eye, her brain has stopped using the eye.  Even when she has glasses to correct her vision, her left eye avoids trying to see and she still predominately uses her right eye.  So, in a few days in addition to her glasses she will start wearing a patch over her right eye to force her left eye to learn to see.  I'm pretty sure she is going to hate the patch mostly because at first she will have a very hard time seeing anything and will have no depth perception at all.  But the good news is that she LOVES her glasses, and thanks to some encouragement from loving friends and neighbors, she is convinced everyone who sees her in her glasses thinks she is even more beautiful with them on!

It turns out that Elijah also has some significant vision problems.  He is very far-sighted in both eyes, and has astigmatism in both eyes as well.  He has a much more pronounced tendency than Miriam to cross his eyes.  So, glasses for little Elijah as well, and likely surgery down the road to correct his crossed eyes.  And here I thought all the vision problems in our family were going to come from Isaac! Elijah's glasses got ordered today, so in a week or so he should be getting them.

One of the first things that Miriam wanted to do when wearing her glasses was to re-enact the wedding scene from the Sound of Music where Maria marries the Captain.  So we decorated (didn't make it into the pictures) and Miriam convinced her brothers to be the bridesmaids. :)  Miriam of course was the bride and Abba was the groom.  Enjoy the video of the service. :)

Trying on the glasses for the first time!

Look, I can see myself in the mirror and I'm so cute I can hardly stand it!

The wedding party