Orphanage Trip

Jeff says he will happily give up the roll of family blogger, but I think maybe I should just let him take over!  We apologize for not updating before now, but somehow the days are incredibly full and I fall in bed exhausted every night.

Yesterday was the official adoption day, as well as Jeff's birthday!  Jeff and I took Isaac back to the office we received him at the day before to turn in our official documents saying that YES, we want Isaac to be our son, and were given the adoption certificate that makes him legally ours.  Then we went and dropped off some papers at the notary's office and were home by lunch.  It was nice to get some time with just Isaac since we left the other three at the hotel with ayi.  After nap we headed to the swimming pool for what we think was Isaac's first time swimming.  The "pool" was actually the whirlpool, but it is very large for a whirlpool and the whole pool is only about a foot and a half deep.  All four kids had great fun splashing and playing together.

For dinner, we went out with two of the other families from our travel group and enjoyed getting to know some of them better.  Isaac seemed to slowly continue to relax as the day went on.  On the way to dinner, he actually wrapped his arms and legs around me as I held him instead of just hanging there limply.  We've seen him be very generous and helpful, sharing his food and helping to pick things up or find something for one of his siblings.  We've also seen him fight hard against not getting his way and he can be pretty dismissive and impatient with anyone he doesn't want to interact with at the moment.  I'd say so far the biggest part of his heart I'm praying for is his ability to have empathy and grace for others.  It's totally understandable why he doesn't respond that way right now, but I can see a kind and loving heart inside my boy, and I'm excited to see it come out more and more in his interactions with others.

Today we took a LONG trip to Isaac and David's hometown to register for Isaac's passport and also visit the orphanage and foster family that cared for both Isaac & David.  Up until today, Isaac has seemed to be under the impression that we are a fairly fun group of people that he has enjoyed spending time with, but he will be soon returning to his "real" family.  In light of that, we were expecting him to have a really hard time when we went back to his orphanage and saw his foster family.  On the way there, we pulled out a photo album the orphanage officer had given us on Monday and as we looked at the pictures we talked about how we were going to go to the orphanage so Isaac could introduce us to all his friends and caretakers, and that afterwards we would say goodbye and he would come with us back to the hotel.  He didn't really say much but didn't seem upset by it particularly.

At the orphanage, we went to a small room with about a half-dozen kids playing there and met the nanny who had cared for both David and Isaac when they were infants.  It was a little strange that all day long everyone claimed that David hadn't really been very sick at all as a baby, even though all the paperwork we received said he had been very ill.  I didn't get the impression they were trying to cover it over, but it makes me wonder how he got into the special needs program at all in that case.

About a half hour after we arrived, the foster mother and grandmother arrived.  They were VERY excited to see David especially since they hadn't seen him in over 8 months.  David, however, was not very excited to see them and refused to allow them to hold him or really interact with him at all.  I felt really sorry for them about that.  Isaac seemed more enthusiastic about his foster mom than grandmother, and would let his mom hold him and play with him.  But after a short time of interacting with them, he would come back to one of us and ask to be held.  When it was time to leave, Isaac refused to let them hold him and gave them a half-hearted wave goodbye as he demanded that we all hurry up and get in the van to leave.  I was really happy that once David was sure this was "goodbye" and not that we were leaving him there, he gave mom and grandma big hugs and a warm farewell.

We didn't get home until around 4:30 (about a 2 hour drive each way and we left at 8am) and while Miriam and Isaac slept most of the way, Elijah and David bounced around like little rabbits and about drove Jeff and I crazy.  Jeff went out and brought dinner home and it was a relatively peaceful chaos until bedtime :)

Tomorrow is a free day for us, so we are thinking about hitting up the local zoo if we think we can brave the humid heat.  It will be nice to have a whole morning together without having to spend it traveling or in offices.  I am so DONE trying to do life with 4 small kids in a hotel.  I can not wait to get back to our home!

Please continue to pray for our family as we are just beginning the process of getting to know each other and becoming a family.  Jeff and I are both burdened for Isaac's heart to continue to soften and as he grows to experience more love and security that he would grow in his ability to love and care for others, especially his family.  We are also very aware of our total inability to meet all the needs of these four precious and diverse little kiddos, and we know we need to continue to grow in our faith that God knew our limitations and He has a plan for all of this that isn't dependent on our abilities.  It's easy to say and REALLY hard to fully embrace.

Ok, now that most of you have probably skipped over all my ramblings, here is the part you have scrolled down to find, the pictures!

Jeff getting his best birthday present ever!!

Mama enjoying some smiles!

Mmmm, jiaozi!!

This is the nanny that cared for the boys when they were small

Isaac and some of his friends.  Really, I'm pretty sure he likes them even if he is trying to smother one of them.

Miriam loving on a little girl still waiting for a family of her own

Isaac with his foster mom

Talking with foster mom and grandmother

I have no idea, but I love it!

Gotcha Day

This is Jeff, blogging for the first time ever.  Its my turn to give some impressions of our first interactions with Isaac.  This morning we took all the kids over to get Isaac and at first thought this is going to go really badly.  The office was super crowded and then 10 Germans came into the office to get a passport for a wedding they were a part of her.   Random.  Our other three happily played with toys for a minute, then got anxious.  Especially Elijah was angry that he couldn't hear the sound on the phone we gave him.  He sat outside and played with it where he could hear and that's where he stayed for most of our time there.

Then Rebecca saw the car pull up and we tried to get the kids all ready.  At first Isaac wanted nothing to do with us.  He just wandered around the office looking for someone he knew.  Miriam and David did a great job tagging along and talking to him.  Even though there were a few tears coming out of his eyes, comforting him didn't seem to be what he really needed.  We gave him a candy bar and a sucker then Mama and the kids looked at a book of his family pictures together.  Then I started playing a jump around game and he really cheered up.  While we were signing the papers it was getting bad for a bit.  We were done and Elijah wanted to come over and talk to Isaac and tell him about the 'xiyangyang' rides that he loves so much.  Isaac pushed him away and then went to go hug David.  It was a very scary moment.  Elijah was sad for a bit and then seemed to get better as we gave him lots of individual attention.  On the bus ride home Elijah sat down next to Isaac and showed him how to play with the iPhone.  That made Isaac like him more.

We gave him a sippy cup with juice but he said he wanted green tea instead.  On the way home I stopped to get McDonald's and green tea to bring to the hotel.  Later we found out that in his province, people ask for tea when they want water.   He was just thirsty and didn't know how to use a sippy cup!  Isaac grabbed the corn and carried it around to the next hour until nap.  They all played and ate happily.   Isaac did a great job sharing his tea and corn with the other kids.  We took the kids out in the hallway and everybody ran up and down the hallway.


When the other kids went off to bed Isaac sat in my lap and we talked for ten or fifteen minutes. I realized he knows the song 'Qing Qing Ting' (a chinese worship song) that we always sing before bed and he sang along.   It was a definite bonding moment to know the same song.  

After nap, they all got up and watched an episode of the Little Einsteins together.  It was fun watching them have a great time going 'pat pat pat' together and Isaac really got into it.   David was much more into it than he usually is because he was showing Isaac what to do.  Isaac's first word in 'English' is now 'Fortissimo!'  

We went and signed some more papers and took them to a play room in the hotel and they had a great time throwing balls around.  We went to the hotel Italian restaurant for dinner and Isaac had pizza for the first time.  If I remember right, we did that with David on his Gotcha day too.  After dinner we came back to the room and tried to settle them down for bed.  Isaac got on his shoes and was ready to go home now.  
It has definitely not crossed his mind that we are his new family.  He calls us Abba and Mama, and is  having fun with these people for now, but I don't think he understands that he isn't going back where he came from.  It is going to be a really hard moment when he gets that.


We have just realized how many more relationships there are between four kids than among three.  E-D, E-I, E-M, D-I, D-M, M-I.   This is a lot to think about and handle well and pretty overwhelming.   Especially since David and Isaac are already obviously great buddies.  David has had a super happy day with Isaac, but Elijah and David were just starting to be buddies.   Will this affect their relationship?  Obviously it will, but it is all really complicated.  The other complicated thing about this is that Isaac is already such a little person with a past.  He is talking a lot (much more than David was) and so it is more obvious that he has a past that is so unknown to us.   For example he picked up the phone and told our helper the phone number to call his 'sister', and asked Rebecca when he could go home.  We begin to wonder if speaking his language isn't a mixed blessing.


At any rate, things have really been going so well, so much better than we could have hoped for.  Please keep thinking about us as we deal with all the complicated emotions and relationships and as we enjoy getting to know our new son.  

Today is the Day!!

We arrived yesterday here in Zhengzhou after a fairly uneventful 5 1/2 hour train ride with the family.  The first thing Miriam said after stepping into the hotel lobby was, "where is the pool???"

About two minutes after we arrived, our dear friends here to adopt their son also arrived!  We were able to get rooms pretty much next to each other, and as an even greater blessing another dear friend Jill is here for a couple of days to help Matt and Laura with their 4 1/2 month old baby.  Sweet reunion!

We did indeed hit the pool and then hopped into a taxi to a nearby mall for some dinner.  We were just congratulating ourselves on what a great idea it was to take the taxi when we realized the stroller we had borrowed from our friends was still in the trunk of the already-departed taxi. :(  Still holding out a small hope that we will get a call from the taxi company that it has been reported, but until then we bought a cheap wal-mart one as a replacement for them to use while here in Zhengzhou.

It's almost time for the kids to get up, and then we'll head down to our breakfast buffet and meet up with the other families at 9:30am to head to the civil affairs office to get Isaac!  Will hopefully have photos of ALL the Staege family together on the next post!

Five days from now...

...we will be at our hotel in Zhengzhou spending our last night as a family of five!!  We received our letter from the Chinese government granting us permission to travel to our son's province to complete our adoption, and we leave on Sunday!!  We are SO thankful that we were able to get the travel arrangements made so quickly.  One of the major reasons why I am so thankful is that we have some dear friends who will be traveling at the same time, staying at our same hotel as they adopt their precious son!  Six years ago these friends stayed at our house awaiting the birth of their first child, well before we were even thinking of starting our own family.  Now six years later, as of next Monday there will be NINE children between our two families!  What a sweet privilege it will be to welcome our sons into our families together!

We can't wait to share more stories of our time as we take our whole family on our trip to get Isaac!  We arrive on Sunday, and then Monday morning we get Isaac!  Tuesday is the day the adoption is finalized, which also happens to be Jeff's birthday.  On Wednesday we will travel to the city Isaac has been living in to apply for his passport and visit the orphanage that he and David grew up in.  We are also anticipating the opportunity to meet the foster family that Isaac and David had lived with for over 2 years!

Ok, I'm off to panic over more details that I'm just sure I'm going to miss!

Cinderella

A couple of weekends ago, I had the great privilege of escorting my little princess to watch the Ukrainian Youth Ballet perform the ballet version of Cinderella.  It combined the two greatest loves of Miriam's life - princesses and ballet.  We almost didn't get to go through a ticket mix-up, but through the incredible thoughtfulness of a friend, we were able to make it work.  I'll let the pictures speak for themselves, but it was a magical night not soon to be forgotten!

All dressed up in our princess dress and ready to go to dinner and a ballet!

Mama and her princess

Relaxing on the subway and thoroughly enjoying all the happy attention from everyone around her

Pure joy

Showing off her own ballet skills!

Patches & Eyewear

Ok, so there have been a lot of posts lately revolving around glasses.  That's because a lot of our life has been revolving around that lately.  First Miriam got her glasses, then her eye patch (or eye sticker as we refer to it around here), and finally Elijah got his glasses.

I have been nothing but blessed and amazed by how well they have both done.  Elijah actually just let us put his glasses on and has never once complained.  Every once in a while he will pull them off if he is either very angry or doing something like jumping repeatedly in a ball pit that isn't so easy with glasses on.  But mostly it has been such an easy process!  No small miracle for a 2 1/2 year old boy!

Miriam has also done a great job with her eye patch.  She wears it most of the day, usually taking it off for 1-2 hours each day.  Her brain doesn't know how to use her left eye well, so even though she should have near normal vision while wearing glasses, she actually has very poor vision even with the glasses.  So she wears the patch to force her brain to re-learn how to see from that eye.  We haven't done any official doctor follow-up yet, but I'm pretty sure I know her eye is making improvements.  She will likely wear the patch for 6-12 months since the learning process is a slow one, but she's a brave little princess who doesn't mind wearing her eye sticker most of the time.

Here are some pictures of my beautiful kids in their fashion eye wear!

Miriam's first eye patch - in honor of the 4th of July!

Miriam with her sweet friend Abby who came to an "Eye Patch Tea Party" to help encourage Miriam as she began wearing her eye patches.  They decorated their own eye patch and Abby wore her's along with Miriam.  So blessed she has such great friends!

Check out the glass slipper eye patch!  Yes, you can now all be amazed at my skills of eye patch decoration! :)

I think Elijah has the personality to fit the glasses!

My handsome boy!

 Of course David couldn't be left out of the glasses wearing.  For the first few days after Elijah got his glasses, David wore this nearly everywhere.  And always upside down.

Life with Elijah

Yep, this picture pretty much sums up what it is like to live with my full-on little man!  He does everything 120%, both the good and the ugly.  There is literally never a dull moment when he is around, and he brings out much laughter and many heart-attacks.  Just today we were at a pool celebrating both America's and David's birthday, when for the 27th time I lost track of Elijah.  I yelled across the pool to Jeff, "Do you know where Elijah is?".  When my friend laughed at my slightly panicked expression, I informed her that I end up asking that question approximately every 20 minutes all day long.  And that boy is FAST!  Seriously, nobody should be allowed to move that quickly who has such poor impulse control.

Here are two recent stories that highlight the joy it is to have a little boy like Elijah in our home.  The first happened just a couple of days ago when Elijah decided to go poo on our dining area floor instead of the potty (both boys spend most of their time at home with naked bottoms since they use the toilet much more consistently that way).  I walked into the room to see a large and stinky deposit on the floor and the bottom half of Elijah covered in mess.  I quickly scooped him up and set him on the bathroom floor when the doorbell rang.  It was three men who had arrived to check our gas meter.  All three of my kids were completely naked and the pile of poo was not more than 2 feet from them, so all I could think to do was grab a towel, throw it over the pile, and pretend there was nothing unusual happening.  While I was on the phone with Jeff asking where our gas card was located, Elijah decided to run back into the room to say hello to everyone (he can't ever pass up a chance to be mr. social) and the poor gas meter man who was in the house had to try and dodge a very unpleasant attempt at a hug.

The second fun adventure with Elijah was on stage at church for David's dedication.  We made the last-minute and fool-hardy decision to take our whole family up front for the dedication time during those nostalgic and naive moments where we thought about how sweet it would be to have the whole family together.  So Jeff is holding David and I am holding Elijah.  In less than 10 seconds he is squirming and asking to stand by himself.  I whisper urgently, "If I put you down, do you promise to stay right next to mama?"  "Yes", he replies, and like a complete moron I decide to believe him.  Of course in no time flat he has started to wander across the back of the stage and I am trying to subtly (in front of 400 people) move slowly after him.  As soon as he realizes he's being followed, he breaks into a full-out sprint across and off the stage (did I mention he's fast?).  So I have to give up all pretense of calmness and go sprinting after him lest he actually makes it out of the sanctuary.

Once he is retrieved, I haul him back on stage and vow to not put him down for anything.  In another moment of mama brain lapse, I put on a bright smile and whisper to him as he screeches and squirms, "Do you want to tickle mama?"  Instead of tickling me, he begins to swat vigorously at my face and I hear gasps of surprised amusement from both the congregation and the pastor.  At this point I am desperately wishing I had brought a roll of duct tape to tie him up because I could get away with it and no one would think badly of me for doing it.  But instead I find the pacifier and he magically decides to snuggle down happily on my shoulder.  That's my boy.  Slapping one minute and snuggling the next.  As we climb down off the stage, I smile at Jeff and say, "Yep, we are officially 'that family'".  You know, the one that makes everyone else feel better about their kids, because no matter what else they did that day, at least they didn't run away and then slap their mom in front of 400 people.  You can view a part of the service on youtube courtesy of the other family having their son dedicated at the same time at http://youtu.be/ZBRKLfwEIRY   Yep, it includes both the escape and the slap.

I love that kid with all my heart!