To my little man

Hello my sweet little boy! I've been sitting here all night thinking about you (a very common occurence), and I decided I should just go ahead and write to you. Mostly I'm just thinking about all the things I love about you.

I love that you are such a strong fighter to have survived being so sick when you were just a newborn baby. Did you know that even half the grownups that get sick like you don't get better? But you were just a tiny baby and you not only got well, but now you are such a grown up two year old and are doing amazing!

I love your sweet sweet smile! It shows me your gentle loving little heart. And a bit of a strong spirit too! I bet you're going to be a snuggler! At least, if you don't want your mama to drive you crazy by always trying to scoop you up I sure hope you learn to like it. I've got a lot of missed hugs and cuddles to make up for!

I was holding your little brother tonight (I know you've seen the pictures, but boy are you in for a treat when you truly realize you've got an awesome little brother just 7 weeks younger than you!), and I got a little teary-eyed wishing I could be holding you too. I was rocking him when he woke up feeling scared, and I prayed for you that your foster mama would be able to hold you and rock you the same way when you get scared. She does rock you, doesn't she?

You also have the best big sister in the whole world. Do you know that at least once a day she reminds me that she wants YOU for her birthday present!? That's right, her birthday is in a month, right when we are expecting to be able to bring you home, and she couldn't be more excited! Every time she draws a picture or picks a flower or sees something she likes, she always asks if she can send it to you.

Whenever I go out anywhere with the family, I always imagine what it will be like one day soon when you are with us. Every trip to the park, or to our favorite restaurant, or to visit a friend, I am always thinking of you. Wondering if you will like the monkeys or the zebras best at the zoo. If you will be a crazy daredevil like your brother on the playground, or if you will be happy to sit for hours playing in the sand box like your sister. Wondering if you will like my enchiladas or only want Chinese food (it's ok if you only want Chinese, Miriam and Elijah could happily live off of only that too). Wondering....wondering so many things and sometimes being so heartbroken I don't know the answers and other times being so EXCITED to find them out.

Only about one more month to go my sweet little boy. Then you will finally be home. The home God chose from before the beginning of time for you to have. Do you still have the stuffed dog we sent you in the first care package? I bought him the day we knew you were meant to be a part of our family. We named him Hope, and sent him to you as soon as we could so that whenever you held him he would remind you of the hope you have to be our son. Even though you aren't physically with us now, you are already our son. I love you with all that fierce, deep, tender, longing mama love.

You are my little boy, and you always will be. Sleep well tonight my precious one. Mama is praying over you and counting down the days. Soon little one. Not soon enough, but soon.

All my love,

Mama

Apple Tortured

In an attempt to distract myself from the maddening fact that it has already been 6 days and the NVC has still not emailed me the letter they promised I would receive "shortly", I have decided to recap some of my favorite kid quotes from the last 3-4 months before I forget them. The first is the most recent, from this past week. BTW, for those who don't know, Miriam is 3 1/2.

On our way to pick apples at an orchard, Miriam says, "Mama, I'm so excited we get to go see an apple tortured!"

After being told she could not have the snack she wanted,
Miriam (complete with feet stomping and arm flapping): I am both ANGRY and FRUSTRATED at the same time!!!

Me: Why?

Miriam: Because I want what I want and I can't have it!!

Me: That's the same problem every person has

Me: Miriam, are you American or Chinese? (asked because she was born in China and we live there although she is white as white can be :))

Miriam: No

Me: I mean, do you think you are American or Chinese?

Miriam: No. My name is Miriam. I am a third culture kid, and I'm special!!

Me: You are absolutely right! :)

Jeff: Miriam, Paper Tiger (her favorite book store) doesn't have the Dora books you like anymore.

Miriam: That's tragical!

Miriam: Mama, can you tell me what I will be when I grow up?

Me: No I can't. That's something you get to choose for yourself

Miriam: I think maybe I want to be a lifeguard.

Me: You could be a lifeguard.

Miriam: Or do you think I can be a mama?

Me: Yes, you can be a Mama if you want to.

Miriam: No....I don't want to choose those things. They aren't good enough. I want to choose something really good!

Me: Like what?

Miriam: Something really so so good! I know!! I can be a bunny!

Oh good! I thought of one for Elijah! (he just turned two, so not so many quotable quotes :)). Our good friend Leah just had a baby a couple of weeks ago, and one day while she was still pregnant Elijah came up and patted her belly and said, "Ball!" Leah explained it was a baby, so he patted her again and said, "Baby!" About a week later, He's sitting next to me on the couch,

Elijah (while poking my stomach): Ball!

Me: No, that's just mommy's tummy

Elijah: Biiiiiiiiggggggg ball!!

Me: Not a ball Elijah, mama's tummy

Elijah: No ball. Baby!!

Me: No, not a baby either

Elijah: Baby baby baby!!! (then he proceeds to kiss my stomach over and over)

Me: You are not good for my ego :)

Ok, that's all that's coming to mind at the moment. Hope it made you smile :)

Blogging guilt

Yes indeed, I just looked back and realized I haven't even written a blog since I could mention my son's name and picture. *sigh* This is why I avoid blogging. Once you start, there is an expectation that you would continue to write on a more than bi-annual basis.

Well, I doubt any amount of guilt I am feeling right now will be strong enough to keep me blogging as often as my family wishes, but it is enough to get me to post an adoption update. I'm sure everyone who is reading this already knows, but we are eagerly expecting sometime this November to bring home our son, David Gordon TianXiang Staege!! I will post the timeline of events below, but just today we received our I-800 provisional approval, which puts our wait time at about a month and a half until we get to pick up our little man! Miriam keeps saying she hopes he comes home by her birthday (Nov 23rd) because it would make a really good birthday present. I agree!

Without further ado, here are some pictures of our handsome boy!

Here is David at 7 months old - fat and healthy after recovering from serious illness!

David at 16 months old

David and his foster brother right after returning to the orphanage

David this past June just before his 2nd birthday

Here is our adoption timeline up to this point:

2/3/11 - agency approves our application

3/5/11 - LOI

3/12/11 - PA

4/1/11 - HS complete

6/7/11 - I-797

7/15/11 - DTC

7/21/11 - LID

9/5/11 - LOA

9/28/11 - I-800 approval

Our Adoption Beginnings

I think I wrote on a facebook post that I can hardly believe so much can have changed in such a short period of time. This whole story of our adoption is really one of the most unique experiences in my life. I already wrote much of this first part of the story in an email that was sent to I'm sure anyone who is reading this blog, but I promised Jeff I'd write this all down somewhere and this seems to be the best place. So bear with me if this is old news to you all.

It started a few weeks ago when I found myself in many different converstaions all centered around the theme of adoption. Friends adopting, people sharing updates about orphans, people I barely know talking about their adoption journeys. It put a bug in my mind to think about adoption, and at the same time this thought came into my head that maybe our family was meant to have one more son. I dismissed it all as overworked imagination, but at the same time I thought it couldn't hurt to do some basic research into adoption. As I went online and started doing some research, I realized that my major issue was that I didn't want to adopt a child. I was very content with my family and had no interest in entering into all the chaos and uncertainty of adoption.

So on a Wednesday during my quiet time, I prayed and told the Lord that if he wanted me to even consider adopting a child at some point in the future, He needed to change my heart to want to adopt, and to give me a greater love for orphans than what I currently had. I finished my quiet time and was convinced that I could put the adoption question behind me, for a long time at least, and probably forever. Well, that night at my Bible study group, one of the women gave me a book written by a woman who works with orphans in Mexico, explaining she had meant to bring it months ago to give to someone, but had just remembered it that afternoon and thought she would bring it. I took the hint and read the book the next morning.

Over the course of reading the book, the first thing that happened was a realization that a lack of faith in my heart was keeping me from being open to adoption. I wanted more control of my life than adopting an orphan would give me. I wanted guarantees and predictable outcomes, and I wasn't willing to step that far out of my comfort zone. But I was reminded that our lives are meant to be lived by faith, and that means stepping forward not knowing where God is taking you, but knowing that anywhere He is leading is the place I want to be. I felt a peace and assurance that if there was ever an open the door for us to adopt, that it would be a good blessing and I could be excited to join in on the journey.

Then just as I was feeling encouraged that my heart was more opened to the idea of adoption at some point in my future, I felt Him speaking to my heart and telling me, "Do you remember the picture of the little boy you saw while looking up some adoption information? That little boy is your son." I laughed like Sarah laughed when she heard that she was supposedly going to have a baby. It made no sense, it wasn't how this whole adoption thing worked, and I didn't even remember a thing about that boy except a vague memory of his picture. But I got my computer and tried to remember where I had found his picture. I found the website, pulled up his picture, and to my utter amazement, the moment I looked at his picture my first thought was, "That is my son!" I can only describe it as there being birthed in my heart to a deep love and longing for this little boy who I knew nothing at all about except a picture and a few sentences of description.

Well, then that evening I had the "exciting" experience of getting to share all of this with Jeff. :) I first told him about my change of heart about the idea of adoption in general. He wasn't very excited to hear that since he wasn't very interested in adoption, but he was at least willing to consider it. I told him that sometime later I had a little bit more to share with him, but it was probably best for him to just process what I had already told him. He insisted that I tell him all of it right then. I asked if he was sure, and he said he was (later he acknowledged he lied, and he should have waited until later). So I pulled up the picture of TX and said, "I think maybe this is the little boy we are going to adopt. I'd never seen Jeff start to hyper-ventilate before, but he did then. :) I think the first thing he said was, "I'm going to be sick". Not the most auspicious start to the process.

But after a couple of days of thinking and praying about it, we had an evening where I took some more time to explain my feelings and the whole process. Part way through he said, "I think either you are having a psychotic episode, or Jesus is doing something really amazing in our lives. I think I hope it is the latter, and if it is, He has never led us somewhere that didn't turn out to be a wonderful blessing. So if this is from Him, then let's do it." Have I mentioned enough times how much I love and respect my husband?

From that point on, we began to consider what it might mean to adopt this little boy. We requested a copy of his files, had his medical records reviewed by a couple doctors. He was considered on his files to have significant special needs, but both doctors agreed that he seems to be totally healthy and normal. So 4 days after we began the discussion, we filled out all of the preliminary paperwork to start the adoption process!

Unfortunately at this time I can't post any specific information or pictures about our little guy. His Chinese name is TX, and he is currently 18 months old and living in an orphanage here in East Asia. He is walking and learning to talk. In fact, the first thing the orphanage workers have taught him to say is "Baba (Asian for Daddy) and Mama". He is ready to have a family!

The adoption agency has told us that based on the information we have submitted, there should be no problem with completing our adoption, and we can expect it to take between 9-12 months. Our first step of the process is to gather the enormous number of documents, forms, and reports that all must be submitted to the government in order to adopt our boy. The whole process of gathering documents takes between 3-6 months. Then for another 4-6 months the government goes through their process of verifying and approving our paperwork and issuing their adoption approval letter.

Even sitting here writing this, the reality has not fully set in that we are no longer a family of 4, but we have a little boy who will Lord-willing be coming home to our family in the next year!! This was nowhere in our plans for our future, but it is exactly the plan of our gracious Father. We are humbled and grateful that our hearts would be opened to love and care for this little boy. We'll keep you updated on how the process is going over the next few months. I can't wait for the day when I can post pictures!

The Long-Awaited Violin Concert

I have finally finished editing the video clips we took of Miriam's violin Christmas recital! We were very proud of how well Miriam did considering she attempted no less than 8 times to run off the stage and come sit with us. While she is still not Mozart, she has made huge improvements from her first "recital". Her bow is not a plunger and only once did I have to tell her to take it out of her mouth.

The opening song is one that was written for her preschool that is named Wheat Kernel. Miriam hates the song and I don't blame her. :) On the last song, believe it or not Miriam is actually singing while sucking on the string of her dress. Multitalented. I think the rest of the video speaks for itself.

The Shemeiermo mystery

It's Friday night and I'm downstairs playing with Elijah. Miriam is upstairs happily splashing in the bathtub. I hear her start to sing a curious song. To the tune of "Oh Christmas Tree", I hear her singing, "Shemeiermo, Shemeirmo" (pronounced shuh-may-er-moe). I go up and ask her what Shemeiermo is supposed to mean. "That's the name of Bree's friend!" she happily tells me. I am skeptical of there being any child namedShemeiermo, but Miriam is usually surprisingly right when she says things like this. Miriam insists that Shemeiermo is a girl that goes to our church who is a friend of our neighbor Bree.

Fastforward to Sunday morning at church. Several times over the last few days Miriam has talked about the mystery friend Shemeiermo, and Jeff and I are burning with curiousity to find out who she might be. As Sunday School is ending, we ask her if she sees Shemeiermo, and she points to a girl halfway down the hallway. "That's Shemeiermo!" she exclaims. So Jeff and I practically run down the hallway after this little girl and Jeff stops her mom. "Is that your daughter?" he asks. When she nods, he says, "What is her name?" "Mikayla" the mom answers, a little confused. "Oh!" says Jeff, "Well for so

me reason my daughter thought her name was Shemeiermo!" Now the mom looks very confused and possibly slightly offended (which would be a not-unreasonable response to have).

We laugh as we return to Miriam and I spy Angie, Bree's mom standing there. I ask her if Bree has any friend named something resembling Shemeiermo, and Angie also laughs and says no. I figure Miriam must have made it all up after all.

That evening, we have Bree's family and the other American family in our neighborhood over to dinner. Angie and I are laughing about the Shemeiermo story, when Leah realizes that she knows about Shemeiermo. Her son Austin goes to the same preschool as Bree. At their school there is a little girl who likes to make up words with Austin, and their newest funny word is Shemeiermo. So apparently Bree liked to repeat it too and Miriam thought it was a person's name. We all had a good laugh together and I was relieved to finally solve the mystery!

This is apparently the only picture I have of Miriam and Bree. She's gonna love me one day for putting this online.

My Driver's License Exam

Can't you just tell from the title of the blog that this is going to be a fun one?

So after spending the last few months illegally driving our car, I was finally able to actually apply and take the test to get my Asian driver's license. (Lack of a U.S driver's license and then the wrong kind of visa made it so I couldn't get it done earlier, I'm not just a total slacker.) A few weeks ago I had to fill out paperwork, travel half way across the city to apply for a test appointment and get an "eye exam", but then this morning was the big day of my actual test. When you already have a valid foreign driver's license, you don't have to take a road test, just a written one. In order to prepare for the test, when you register for a test time they give you a manual to study.

Well I got my manual 3 weeks ago, but it wasn't until yesterday afternoon while cleaning up for Miriam's birthday party that I found it under the coffee table and remembered that I actually needed to study and prepare for my test. That set me off on a small panic attack because it is a huge hassle to take the test and I was really worried that I might not pass the test and have to do it all over again. So after the kids got to bed last night, I grabbed the manual and started my cram session.

Unlike what you might expect, the driver's license manual is not a manual containing all the traffic laws and regulations. It is a set of around 1000 multiple choice and true/false questions. The questions cover a whole range of traffic-related (and sometimes not-so-related) topics, and when you take the test the computer randomly chooses 100 of these questions for you to answer. In order to pass the test, you must answer at least 90 of the questions correctly. So studying for the test is not really so much about learning actual traffic laws and regulations as it is about learning the answers to the questions.

The more I read of the manual, the more material for this blog I found. Because I would estimate that only about 40% of the questions in the book were on topics actually important or useful to someone trying to learn the traffic rules for this country. And maybe I'm being really generous with the 40%. If I think about what percentage of what I learned actually informed me of something that would impact how I drive, the percentage would be maybe 2%.

Most of the questions were merely useless, but some were astoundingly useless, humorously obvious, or at least completely irrelevant to determining if a person understands the traffic rules necessary to safely drive a vehicle. Here are a few random samplings:

No unit or individual is allowed to illegally assemble a motorized vehicle. Answer: Right

The motorized vehicle driver should apply to the issuing vehicle management station for license change, within 90 days after the expiration of his driving license. Answer : Wrong (unfortunately I only know this answer is wrong, not what the right answer is...)

The objects of compensation liability of the mandatory traffic accident insurance of motorized vehicles include the drivers of the insured vehicles. Answer: Wrong (so my accident insurance doesn't cover either me or the other driver? Then who does it cover?)

When running at high speed, the steering wheel can have a feel of "being deprived" due to the impact of __________. The driver should firmly hold the steering wheel and drives at a lower speed.

A. Ice and snow

B. Heavy rain

C. Side Wind

D. Fog

I included this one because I never remembered feeling deprived when driving before. (Answer C)

The main impact of the road conditions at night on safe driving is ____________.

A. The visibility is low and unfavorable for observing road traffic conditions

B. The road surface is complex and changing

C. The physical strength of the driver decreases

D. The driver can easily have impulse and Illusion

When another driver asks directions while driving, the driver should __________

A. Ignore it

B. Answer with patience

C. Find an excuse to reject

D. Answer for a pay

When discovering the persons injured in a traffic accident need rescue while driving, the driver should __________.

A. Send the injured persons to hospital in a timely manner or make emergency call

B. Dodge as much as possible

C. Leave as fast as possible

D. Find an excuse to dodge the scene

Does anyone else find the last 3 answers to be remarkably similar? And btw, the last three answers are exactly what 95% of the population would do

When overtaking, the driver should _____ if the vehicle in front refuses to reduce speed or yield.

A. Continuously honk and speed up to overtake

B. Speed up to overtake forcefully

C. Stop overtaking

D. Overtake by using the lane for non-motorized vehicles

This really made me laugh because A,B and D are what happen every time this situation occurs here.

When discovering a congestion at the intersection ahead, the correct way to deal with thi situation is to _________.

A. Continue to weave through

B. Find space and overtake one vehicle after another

C. Honk to indicate the vehicle in front to speed up

D. Stop and wait in line

Same thing...happens every time

When a head-on collision is unavoidable, the driver should free the steering wheel, raise the legs and lie sideward on the right seat at the moment of the head-on collision. This can ensure his body is not stuck by the steering wheel. Answer: Right. Is it just me or does it seem like if the guy can do all that he might want to focus his energies a little more on slowing the vehicle down or avoiding the collision?

The pressure indicated by the engine oil pressure meter represents the engine oil pressure of the _______ of the engine.

A. Main oil route

B. Crankshaft box

C. Fuel inlet pipe of the engine oil pump

D. Engine oil pump

I didn't realize I needed to be a mechanic to drive a car. The relevance of this to me??

The accelerator pedal designed to control _______ of the engine or oil pump plunger is used to control the rotation speed of the engine.

A. The accelerator

B. The air throttle

C. The clutch

D. The fuel injector

Honestly?

The maximum free adjustment angle of the steering wheel of a motor vehicle is no more than ________.

A. 5 degrees

B. 30 degrees

C. 10 degrees

D. 20 degrees

When checking a tire, the depth from the tire surface to the bottom of the tread groove should not be less than _______. Otherwise, the tire should be replaced.

A. 1.6mm

B. 1.2mm

C. 1.0mm

D. 0.8mm

I'm offering a prize to anyone who can successfully answer all the mechanic questions :)

When there is a bleeding in an upper limb or shank without bone fracture or joint damage, the bleeding can be stopped by _________.

A. Tourniquet

B. Compression dressing

C. Cushioned limb folding

D. Pressure bondage

You also need a medical degree to drive apparently. The correct answer is C

Stopping bleeding with tourniquet refers to ligating an elastic rubber tube an rubber band at _______ of the upper limb or the middle thigh of the wounded person.

A. One-third

B. One-half

C. Two-thirds

D. Three-quarters

Answer is A in case you ever need the tourniquet definition

When putting a bone fracture in the upper limb in position, the limb must be straightened and tied up. Answer: Wrong. I am terrified at the idea of a random roadside person attempting to do anything to put a bone fracture of my upper limb in position, especially if they are only told what not to do.

My very "favorite" questions of all are the ones about police hand-signals. There are a bunch of pictures of police officers making various traffic hand signals and you are supposed to tell what the hand signals mean. There are two different questions with the absolutely identical picture of the police officer holding his left hand palm-out with his head turned to the right. In the first question, it says this position indicates "a signal for turning left gently". In the second question, it means, "a signal for turning right". Good thing I've never seen a traffic cop giving hand signals. I might run him over in my confusion.

Well I am happy to report that my cram session paid off and I got 99 out of the 100 questions right! Fortunately the hand signals didn't make it onto my test and as of Friday I will have my very own driver's license. Now that I can legally drive my goal is still to do it as infrequently as possible.