Visas and more waiting

On Friday, one day before leaving,  in the midst of trying to pack up all our belongings our visa paperwork arrived!   Jesus is providing just in the nick of time, as usual.  :-)  The next morning we sent off our passports and visa applications.  Thanks for praying!

We are still waiting for one of the doctors to talk to the other doctors before they can fix a surgery date. Please pray that they can talk to each other and tell us a date tomorrow.  We really need to start making plans!

We are leaving here to drive back to Minnesota on August 1st.  As of now we have no place to stay.  If you know of any place to stay from August 1st to maybe Mid September, please let us know!

Progress

Today was a good day, for me, Jeff.  I took the kids to a playground with a water park and sand play area.  Miriam, Elijah and David spent a long time in the sand area making mud for piggies.  It was a very elaborate and very important job.  Tomorrow they are planning to make poop for gorillas.   Also very important, since we discovered the last time we went to the zoo that gorillas do, in fact, from personal experience, eat poop.  Both jobs are very messy, therefore they need to take baths three times a day.

While I was there I got a call from Rebecca.  She talked to two different doctors today and things are moving along pretty well!  The basic plan at this point is that they will make some space behind his eyelid and put in a hard plastic conformer.  Then they will over time put in larger and larger conformers.  The great news is that we should only need one surgery and they can send the conformers with us for us to put in ourselves!  They will schedule the surgery for as soon as they can.  It looks like we may be going back to Minnesota, but only for a little while.  At least, that is as much of a guess as we have for today.  It's progress, so we are grateful.

As far as our visa paperwork, it still has not arrived.   Please pray that it shows up!   If it has been lost, it could be very hard to replace.  We are leaving our apartment here in Ft Collins this Saturday, so the paperwork needs to arrive by then!

Thanks for praying!

-Jeff

Waiting

Waiting

I know it has been a long time since we have posted anything here.   Given all the crazy chaos of our lives right now we decided to use this space as a way to keep you up to date on our lives without filling up your email inbox.  I (Jeff) will try to keep a nearly daily update on our saga these next few weeks.

Today, we finally got an email from Isaac's primary surgeon.   He told us that to move forward we need  to come in and see one of the plastic surgeons we have seen before.   The two of them will be the main people in charge of Isaac's care.  After Isaac sees this other doctor they can make a plan for Isaac's care.  So, Rebecca and Isaac are flying to Minnesota this weekend, arriving Sunday and returning to Colorado on Tuesday.   I will be taking care of the rest of the kids here.

This, at least, is a beginning to an answer to prayer.  It still doesn't answer any of the questions of what our lives will look like for the next few months or years, but at least it is some progress.

In another major life plot line, we are still waiting on our visa paperwork.  Just waiting.   This morning, I thought about how little control I have of any of these things and I just had to laugh.  It's either laugh or cry, so Jesus helped me to laugh.  On Wednesday Rebecca was invited to give a talk about perseverance.  Perseverance isn't about keeping going when we get what we want.   It is about what we do when we don't get what we want.  The main question is 'Am I ok if God doesn't give me anything that I want, but instead helps me to know and love him?  Is that enough?'  Today we are just waiting and we don't know what he is going to do.  But I think, for just a moment this morning, that he was enough.  I'm trusting that Jesus will also send us back to East Asia on August 1st, but even if he doesn't, he is enough.

Being Thankful

I was asked to write an article for our church's monthly newsletter on being thankful, and I just realized I could make it a blog post and get 2 for 1 benefit out of it. :)

My friend Rhonda asked me to write the article because she said she figured I had a lot to be thankful for this year.  And it’s true!  In the last year we have added two beautiful boys to our family through adoption (bringing our household total to four preschoolers).  We love the home that we have been blessed with, and in our neighborhood we have several wonderful friends.  If my husband could be doing any job in the world, he would be doing exactly what he is doing right now.  These were all the things that came to mind as I thought about what I had to be thankful for.

As I was mentally making my list, it reminded me of all the times over the years we have had Thanksgiving parties for the Chinese university students that we worked with.  Part of our party always included giving them an opportunity to list things that they were thankful for, and inevitably their lists included such common things as:  My family, My friends, My studies.  Very few of these students were believers in Jesus, but it occurred to me that, even without God in their lives, their lists looked almost identical to mine.  And it got me to thinking that if my list was no different than a non-Christian’s list, then something was wrong.  So here is my new list of things that I am thankful for.

I am thankful that in bringing Isaac and David into our home, God gave me way more than I can possibly handle.  Every day the level of needs and demands are overwhelming and I am completely unable to handle it.  And because of that, much of my former pride is revealed as the emptiness that it is, and I am driven every morning to cling to the promises that His mercy is new every morning and He is the one who will meet both the needs of myself and my children.  And on the days when I remember to look to Jesus my house is full of such redemptive chaos.

I am thankful not only for a wonderful house to live in, but I am also thankful for the leak in the basement and the line of sticky mystery substance that covers all my walls at about finger level for three year olds.  Because with Jesus in my life I don’t have to live enslaved to my stuff.  So many people live for their possessions, but I live for Christ so it doesn’t have to destroy me when everything isn’t perfect or as good as the neighbors.

I am thankful for friends who are not only friends but brothers and sisters in Christ who point me to Jesus.

I am thankful that in this current season of joy and fruitfulness in our work, God has graced us with the ability to see how past seasons of feeling frustration and fruitlessness have all been a part of the journey that has brought us here.  And I am thankful for the reminder that brings to not lose hope and heart when in the future unexpected turns and failures bring us back to another place where all is not what we wish it would be.

These are the things that I am truly thankful for in this season where we are reminded to give thanks.  It’s too easy to settle for giving thanks for things that don’t cost anything to give thanks for.  But I encourage you to press deeper to the more hidden and precious places of thankfulness.  That is where real joy and life are to be found – in truly being thankful.

Fall Fun

The leaves are falling and the kids and I went out one afternoon to rake some of them and have some good old fashioned leaf pile jumping.  They loved it and I got some great pictures of them in the leaves that captures much of their personalities.

Miriam is sweet and beautiful inside and out

Every week there are more smiles and joy for Isaac

And we are learning that he loves to be just plain silly

Elijah is more full of life than almost anyone I know

Joy.  Pure and simple joy.

David loves and laughs with his whole self.

What a blessed mama I am!

Two months!

It's been two months since we brought Isaac home and also two months since my last post.  *sigh*  If one day I get the technology to transfer all the things I think I should write or post into an actual blog post, you will get lots of frequent and interesting updates.  Until then, you're stuck with a mom of 4 preschoolers who feels lucky to wipe up the pee puddle before someone decides to pretend it's a water puddle and go splashing in it.

So, how are we doing two months into this newest journey?  The first 6 weeks or so were HARD.  And I mean really hard.  I have never tried to do anything I am clearly more unfit for than trying to love and care for four small children.  Seriously.  They have WAY too many needs for me to possibly meet them and the level of crazy chaos in our home often hits a point where organized and helpful thought becomes nearly impossible.  I found myself spending all my days in a constant state of frantic frustration trying to get them to just SIT STILL and STOP ARGUING so I could manage the monumental task of getting sandals on all four to get out the front door.  Sometimes over a half an hour to just accomplish that.  I have determined that my children have the same ability as cockroaches to scatter instantly in all directions.  Have you ever tried to raise cockroaches?  If you have, then you know what I'm up against.

In all seriousness though, it was a rough first few weeks.  I felt like I was constantly failing in being the kind of mom I wanted to be to my kids.  But in the last couple of weeks I feel like I am starting to turn a small corner in my heart and stress levels.  Things that have helped have been remembering that it's not actually my job to meet all my kids needs.  Also learning that the flow of our day needs to include both structured and directed activities, and also opportunities for as much unstructured play as possible.  Usually the structure happens inside, and when we go out to play I try to take them somewhere they can mostly run around and do what they want.  That works very well outside and very poorly inside.  And finally, Jesus has been reminding me that while what I think I need is for things to go a certain way with my children, what I really need is Him.  When I'm living out of that, suddenly the noisy chaos that was about to drive me CRAZY is transformed into a glorious chaos that I can enjoy rather than just try to manage.

All four kids are also starting to really enjoy each other and play together well.  It's so fun to watch them play all the made-up games they invent and to have so many times of happy laughter together.  Now that doesn't mean that they don't also spend portions of time every day trying to drive each other crazy.  Approximately 37.8 times per day I find myself saying yelling such things as "You may NOT eat your book!", "Why did you dump your milk on your bothers head??!!", "I don't care if it's part of your game or not, you may not tell your brother to sit inside the toilet and pretend it is a boat!", "Elijah, if you chase anyone else with your wee wee you will be in time out for the rest of your mortal life!", and "The next person who takes their shoes off and throws them at my head while I am driving the car is going to be in BIG TROUBLE!!"

Better than words, I'll give you a short tour of our last couple of months with some pictures.

Isaac's first day home enjoying the slide and some love from big sister

During the summer we went swimming once a week with some local friends and all the kids LOVED it!

Wearing the welcome home outfits that Ayi bought them

What can I say?  I have the three cutest boys in the world!

We enjoyed a visit from Grandma Lee Anne, which included a trip to an amusement park.  I now hear about this amusement park at least 15 times daily.

These dolls were all causing serious trouble.  Isaac and David put them all in time out.

We enjoyed fun at friends' birthday parties!

We went to the zoo!

And despite their great similarity to the monkeys, we even brought them all home with us!

Little brother turned 3!!

We went to an apple orchard and picked apples together.

Miriam and Abba went on a special overnight camping trip together!

We just generally had lots of wacky fun

What an amazing group of kids we have!

Orphanage Trip

Jeff says he will happily give up the roll of family blogger, but I think maybe I should just let him take over!  We apologize for not updating before now, but somehow the days are incredibly full and I fall in bed exhausted every night.

Yesterday was the official adoption day, as well as Jeff's birthday!  Jeff and I took Isaac back to the office we received him at the day before to turn in our official documents saying that YES, we want Isaac to be our son, and were given the adoption certificate that makes him legally ours.  Then we went and dropped off some papers at the notary's office and were home by lunch.  It was nice to get some time with just Isaac since we left the other three at the hotel with ayi.  After nap we headed to the swimming pool for what we think was Isaac's first time swimming.  The "pool" was actually the whirlpool, but it is very large for a whirlpool and the whole pool is only about a foot and a half deep.  All four kids had great fun splashing and playing together.

For dinner, we went out with two of the other families from our travel group and enjoyed getting to know some of them better.  Isaac seemed to slowly continue to relax as the day went on.  On the way to dinner, he actually wrapped his arms and legs around me as I held him instead of just hanging there limply.  We've seen him be very generous and helpful, sharing his food and helping to pick things up or find something for one of his siblings.  We've also seen him fight hard against not getting his way and he can be pretty dismissive and impatient with anyone he doesn't want to interact with at the moment.  I'd say so far the biggest part of his heart I'm praying for is his ability to have empathy and grace for others.  It's totally understandable why he doesn't respond that way right now, but I can see a kind and loving heart inside my boy, and I'm excited to see it come out more and more in his interactions with others.

Today we took a LONG trip to Isaac and David's hometown to register for Isaac's passport and also visit the orphanage and foster family that cared for both Isaac & David.  Up until today, Isaac has seemed to be under the impression that we are a fairly fun group of people that he has enjoyed spending time with, but he will be soon returning to his "real" family.  In light of that, we were expecting him to have a really hard time when we went back to his orphanage and saw his foster family.  On the way there, we pulled out a photo album the orphanage officer had given us on Monday and as we looked at the pictures we talked about how we were going to go to the orphanage so Isaac could introduce us to all his friends and caretakers, and that afterwards we would say goodbye and he would come with us back to the hotel.  He didn't really say much but didn't seem upset by it particularly.

At the orphanage, we went to a small room with about a half-dozen kids playing there and met the nanny who had cared for both David and Isaac when they were infants.  It was a little strange that all day long everyone claimed that David hadn't really been very sick at all as a baby, even though all the paperwork we received said he had been very ill.  I didn't get the impression they were trying to cover it over, but it makes me wonder how he got into the special needs program at all in that case.

About a half hour after we arrived, the foster mother and grandmother arrived.  They were VERY excited to see David especially since they hadn't seen him in over 8 months.  David, however, was not very excited to see them and refused to allow them to hold him or really interact with him at all.  I felt really sorry for them about that.  Isaac seemed more enthusiastic about his foster mom than grandmother, and would let his mom hold him and play with him.  But after a short time of interacting with them, he would come back to one of us and ask to be held.  When it was time to leave, Isaac refused to let them hold him and gave them a half-hearted wave goodbye as he demanded that we all hurry up and get in the van to leave.  I was really happy that once David was sure this was "goodbye" and not that we were leaving him there, he gave mom and grandma big hugs and a warm farewell.

We didn't get home until around 4:30 (about a 2 hour drive each way and we left at 8am) and while Miriam and Isaac slept most of the way, Elijah and David bounced around like little rabbits and about drove Jeff and I crazy.  Jeff went out and brought dinner home and it was a relatively peaceful chaos until bedtime :)

Tomorrow is a free day for us, so we are thinking about hitting up the local zoo if we think we can brave the humid heat.  It will be nice to have a whole morning together without having to spend it traveling or in offices.  I am so DONE trying to do life with 4 small kids in a hotel.  I can not wait to get back to our home!

Please continue to pray for our family as we are just beginning the process of getting to know each other and becoming a family.  Jeff and I are both burdened for Isaac's heart to continue to soften and as he grows to experience more love and security that he would grow in his ability to love and care for others, especially his family.  We are also very aware of our total inability to meet all the needs of these four precious and diverse little kiddos, and we know we need to continue to grow in our faith that God knew our limitations and He has a plan for all of this that isn't dependent on our abilities.  It's easy to say and REALLY hard to fully embrace.

Ok, now that most of you have probably skipped over all my ramblings, here is the part you have scrolled down to find, the pictures!

Jeff getting his best birthday present ever!!

Mama enjoying some smiles!

Mmmm, jiaozi!!

This is the nanny that cared for the boys when they were small

Isaac and some of his friends.  Really, I'm pretty sure he likes them even if he is trying to smother one of them.

Miriam loving on a little girl still waiting for a family of her own

Isaac with his foster mom

Talking with foster mom and grandmother

I have no idea, but I love it!